For starters, the sleigh has been decked out with golden trim and “TRUMP 2024” decals. Rudolph? Retired. Santa’s now being led by a squadron of drones emblazoned with the phrase “Santa 2.0: Making Christmas Great Again.”

Santa’s gift list this year? Laser-focused. Red states are getting an avalanche of goodies, while blue states will be getting what they deserve – lumps of coal “Courtesy of the Electoral College.”

Santa will also be adding a few copies of Trump’s “Save America” into stockings (really big stockings) so the kiddos have a nice page-turner to read on Christmas morning.

But it’s not just the delivery logistics getting a Trumpian twist. Santa’s taking a hard look at the naughty list, now branded as the “Fake News and Anti-American Registry.”

According to an insider elf close to the situation, Santa’s on the hunt for unscrupulous leftists who have erroneously put themselves on his “nice” list. He is going to be leaving them reindeer poop in their stockings – which is actually more than he thinks they deserve.

Even the elves have caught the Trump fever. They’re sporting bedazzled MAGA hats and chanting, “Build the Wall! Build the Wall! Build the Wall!” while constructing a gingerbread fortress around Santa’s workshop.

When asked about it, Santa shrugged, “Hey, I love all kids, but a secure perimeter is just common sense.”

The cherry on top of Santa’s big night? Santa reportedly has plans to end his rounds by stopping at Mar-a-Lago to deliver the ultimate gift: a life-size golden snow globe featuring Santa and Trump shaking hands inside a shimmering winter wonderland.

“Best. Christmas. Ever,” Santa said with a wink, boarding his tricked-out sleigh just moments ago.

So, as you tuck in tonight, remember: Santa’s coming to town soon. And if you listen closely, you might hear him shout as he zooms out of sight, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a MAGA night!”