Duck, Dodge, and Ditch VP Kamala Harris is making history again – not for her trailblazing policies (LOL) or rousing speeches, but for snubbing a tradition that’s older than some of her most dedicated donors.

The Democratic nominee for POTUS won’t be attending the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner on October 17th, making it clear that mixing with religious folks who raise money for women and children is just too icky for her campaign schedule.

The event typically features prominent political figures, including presidential candidates, who are invited to give lighthearted, often self-deprecating speeches.

Catholicism lite: skipping commandments and embracing “reproductive freedom.”

And who likes children anyway? After all, Kamala is the only presidential candidate in the race for the White House who has surrogates rolling around the country on a “Reproductive Freedom Bus Tour” (the Fetus Deletus Express).

Having a bus like that and making abortion a focus of her campaign might be a little hard to explain to the Catholics at the fundraiser. But maybe not. Catholics these days don’t seem to mind supporting the killing of babies. In fact, 6 in 10 Catholics support abortion rights according to a Pew Research Report, choosing to skip over the “Thou Shalt Not Kill” Commandment in the Bible.

Amazingly, there is even an organization called “Catholics for Choice” who says that 68% of Catholics did not want to see Roe v. Wade overturned. Their website states that their their group is at the “intersection of faith and reproductive freedom.” Their website is also full of euphemisms like “health equality” and says that “Catholics for Choice believes healthcare is a human right and that includes access to abortion.”

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Meanwhile the “Catholics for Harris” group is downplaying Kalama’s support for abortion – because why should anyone actually vote on facts and their religious beliefs when you can put your head in the sand and hope for the best?!

Sister Simone Campbell, the director of NETWORK Lobby for Catholic Social Justice, amazingly says, “Our faith does not require the outlawing of abortion,” in what the Catholic News Agency calls an apparent contradiction of what the Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches.

Avoiding the Orange Man.

Another reason Kamala might not want to go to the fundraiser is because she doesn’t want to sit across from Donald Trump. It’s probably not her idea of a good time. Plus he’s funnier than she is. She’s funny – but not on purpose.

For 40 years, candidates have attended this charity event to crack jokes, swap roast-worthy zingers, and maybe even fake some goodwill towards each other. But this year? Kamala’s calendar is full. Of

what? Battleground states, speeches on abortion rights and talking about how America needs to move on from the past even though it’s her and Biden’s past that everyone wants to move on from.

Trump will be there.

Orange Man Bad will be at the event, ready to light up the room with zingers. I think he should bring along a cardboard cut out of Kamala with him to direct his roast-worthy quips to. Or instead of quips, he can pretend he’s ABC and ask her important questions like, “What is your favorite ice cream flavor?” and “How did you become so amazing?”