Hold on to your snow shovels, Michiganders! The Farmers’ Almanac has once again peered into its mystical crystal ball – err, old-school weather forecasting methods – and delivered its chilling verdict for the 2024-2025 winter season. Spoiler alert: it’s going to be wet, snowy, and colder than a snowman’s nose in January. That also means rising costs for your heating thanks to Bidenomics and Kamala-flation.

Frozen to the bone: get ready for frigid temperatures.

If you were hoping for a mild winter to ease you into 2025, think again. While much of the U.S. might enjoy slightly above-average temperatures, Michigan is set to be the unlucky recipient of what the Almanac cheerily describes as “frigidly cold” weather also referred to as a “Wet Winter Whirlwind.”

Picture this: bone-chilling temperatures that will have you questioning all of your life choices every time you step outside. And your dog/s won’t be too happy about the impending cold either – or the booties that you keep threatening to buy him or her.

The cold snap kicks off in early November and, like a bad houseguest, it won’t leave until it’s overstayed its welcome. By Thanksgiving, expect a mix of wet snow and rain, followed by a brief reprieve before the New Year arrives with, you guessed it, more cold and wet conditions. Christmas might be more “slush-mas” than a white wonderland, so maybe hold off on those sledding plans.

January: The big freeze and a Caribbean daydream.

Mark your calendars, because the Farmers’ Almanac is predicting that the last week of January will be a doozy. Frigid Arctic air is expected to blast through Michigan, turning the state into an icebox. If you were ever looking for an excuse to flee to the Caribbean, this is it. Just make sure to book that trip before January 20th, because from the 20th to the 27th, Michigan might resemble a scene from Frozen – minus the catchy tunes.

And just when you think it can’t get any worse, the Almanac hints at a major storm during this time frame. Picture “copious amounts of snow, rain, sleet, and ice” – because apparently, we needed all four to make things extra miserable.

March madness: but not the fun kind.

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As winter reluctantly drags on into March, the Almanac teases yet another round of wintry fun. A rapidly moving storm is expected to deliver 2-5 inches of wet snow across the lower peninsula, just in case you thought winter was over. And because the weather gods have a twisted sense of humor, early April might bring a mix of cold rain, sleet, and – oh yes – more wet snow.

Trust the Almanac? Your call.

The Farmers’ Almanac claims an 80% accuracy rate but critics argue that their predictions are often vague and general, making it easier to match actual weather conditions after the fact. Weather experts, with their fancy technology and satellites, often roll their eyes at the Almanac’s old-school

methods. But if there’s one thing we know for sure, it’s that Michigan winters are unpredictable. So, whether you trust the Almanac or prefer to take your chances, one thing’s certain: you’ll want to keep that snow shovel handy.