The U.S. Postal Service (USPS) has a new motto: “We deliver… sometimes.” In the latest debacle, the USPS’s chief watchdog warned that during the 2024 primaries, the postal service managed to fumble 2% to 3% of political and election mail. Yes, you read that right – our mail carriers couldn’t deliver the goods, which is literally the only job that they are tasked to do.

First-class fail: USPS stamps out election integrity.

The Inspector General’s report is a laundry list of “Return to Sender” moments. Postal personnel didn’t always follow procedures and failed to maintain proper Election and Political Mail logs. It’s almost like they forgot their job was more than just delivering pizza coupons and holiday catalogs – or to be Amazon’s pimp and delivery service.

Despite the postal service’s promise of “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds,” the audit found that a whopping 80% of the audited facilities didn’t follow policy.

That’s right – eight out of ten mail processing facilities decided that USPS policy was just a suggestion. As a result, some ballots were found languishing in facilities long after they should have been delivered.

The postal black hole: where ballots go to die.

The report highlighted that the delays in ballot delivery could lead to “some” votes not being counted at all. With a service record like this, maybe it’s time to send the USPS a “priority” wake-up call.

Going postal: the fallout and the recommendations.

The watchdog’s ten recommendations to fix this postal pandemonium were met with mixed reviews by USPS managers, who disagreed with some of the solutions. Apparently, fixing a broken system is just as challenging as delivering junk mail.

To add insult to injury, the audit revealed that in some states, where mail-in voting is the norm, these hiccups could mean tens of thousands of votes might not be counted. I guess the fate of our democracy could hinge on whether postal workers decide to follow the rules.

Special delivery: ballot chaos continues.

The findings were a real eye-opener: out of the ballots that managed to escape the postal black hole, 97.01% made it on time to voters. And for those ballots that needed to make it back to counting centers, the success rate was a slightly better but still unimpressive 98.17%. It seems like the USPS could use a lesson in timely delivery. Maybe they should hire FedEx or UPS to help them out.

Hopefully the USPS can stamp out these issues before November, or we might be in for a real “first- class” disaster.