So while the world is stewing in a pot of geopolitical and economic crises, Biden is busy playing with plastic forks and knives.

The White House announced this culinary crackdown in July with the fervor of a chef unveiling a new menu item, claiming it’s a crucial step in addressing the “climate crisis.” Apparently, reducing the global production and consumption of virgin plastics is the special of the day. By 2027, federal food service operations, events, and packaging will start clearing their cupboards of plastic and polystyrene, with a complete phase-out by 2035.

Their fact sheet states the importance of their latest efforts to save the world through plastic cutlery saying, “Today’s actions further leverage the purchasing power of the federal government to reduce emissions, protect public health, and spur markets for new sustainable products. They also enhance domestic initiatives that reinforce United States leadership in ongoing international efforts to develop a strong agreement to tackle the plastic pollution crisis across the globe.”

From Russia with love: real threats ignored for cutlery concerns.

As Russia, Hamas, and Iran simmer on the international stove, and the economy is left to boil over in America, this cutlery crusade seems laughably out of touch to many. Republican Senator Mike Rounds of South Dakota minced no words about Biden’s idiocy, telling the Daily Mail, “The world’s on fire and he’s worried about plastic forks.” It’s like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic but with compostable utensils.

Republican Senator James Lankford of Oklahoma dished out his critique, branding the initiative as “messaging and ridiculousness” that fails to address pressing deficit issues. Indeed, this policy seems like a garnish on the plate of American priorities – visually appealing to some but lacking in substance.

Scaling down the federal feast: a recipe for real change.

Perhaps the most well-seasoned critique came from Republican Senator Mike Lee of Utah who suggested that instead of reducing plastic consumption, the government should shrink its own bloated self, saying. “They should shrink the government if they want it to be less of a consumer. The reason it’s the largest consumer is because it’s it employs so many people, and it’s doing so many things it was probably never intended to do.”

In a final dash of absurdity, the Biden administration added a clause allowing exemptions for “national security” reasons. So, if you’re defending the nation or engaging in undercover law enforcement and you need a plastic straw or two to save democracy and keep America safe, feel free to use the evil plastics – because nothing says “covert operation” or “subterfuge” like a disposable spork!