In a plot twist more bizarre and unbelievable than a reality TV finale, Donald Trump survived an assassination attempt at a Pennsylvania rally over the weekend, thanks to a chart on illegal immigrants and a Jumbotron.
The former president, while giving one of his signature rants about illegal aliens, happened to turn his head to look at the chart just as a bullet whizzed past, clipping his ear instead of making him the next tragic headline.
Head turn of destiny.
“The doctor at the hospital called it a miracle,” Trump proclaimed, sporting a bandage on his ear when giving an interview to the New York Post on his plane on his way to the Republican National Convention in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
“I’m not supposed to be here, I’m supposed to be dead,” he repeated, driving home his flair for the dramatic.
As we watched the rally, Trump,in his element, was railing against immigration policies, oblivious to the fact that a sniper was zeroing in on him.
As fate would have it, his attention shifted to a Jumbotron displaying a chart on illegal immigrants. This mundane distraction caused him to turn his head slightly to the right, just enough for the would- be kill shot to miss its mark and merely graze his ear. Blood splattered, Trump was whisked away by Secret Service agents who, according to Trump, “came flying in like linebackers.”
What’s up with the shoes?
In the chaos, Trump’s shoes managed to fall off. Trump explained, ”The agents hit me so hard that my shoes fell off.”
“Wait, I want to get my shoes,” we all heard him say during the melee.
Trump’s recount of the event included a detailed description of the Secret Service’s actions. He showed off a large bruise on his forearm from where the agents grabbed him and praised them for taking out the shooter with “one shot right between the eyes.”
Iconic fist-pump and newfound unity message.
The rally, attended by about 55,000 people according to Trump, remained remarkably calm despite the shooting. Trump pointed out, ”A lot of places, especially soccer games, you hear a single shot, everybody runs. Here there were many shots and they stayed,” Trump said, lauding his crowd for their unflinching loyalty.
And when all was said and done, we end up with an iconic photo – Trump, with blood dripping from his ear, defiantly raising his fist and shouting “Fight” three times as the agents hustled him off stage. “A lot of people say it’s the most iconic photo they’ve ever seen,” Trump said, undoubtedly already imagining it plastered on posters and memes across the internet. “They’re right and I didn’t die. Usually, you have to die to have an iconic picture.”
A miraculous survival.
Reflecting on his brush with death, Trump credited divine intervention. “By luck or by God, many people are saying it’s by God I’m still here,” he mused. Whether it was luck, divine intervention, or just a well-timed glance at a chart, Trump survived to continue his campaign – and to hopefully win and Make America Great Again.
He even suggested that the incident had softened his approach to his acceptance speech for the GOP nomination, swapping out a “tough speech” for one aimed at unity – although he quickly admitted he wasn’t sure if uniting the country was possible.
Chances are that he is right. If September 11th didn’t unite the country for very long, I doubt an assassination attempt on Trump will. And “unity” is probably the last thing that Democrats OR Republicans want because at the core, their priorities are totally different and demonization of the other party is what they see as their key to success.
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