With Democrats in fear of their young antisemitic voter base dumping Biden (and in turn other Dem candidates) in the upcoming election, they are pulling out all the stops including bribing them with college loan forgiveness – and now offering them free beer and birth control.

Beer and condoms in exchange for a Biden vote.

Yes, the Democrats have found a new recipe to tap into the elusive youth vote: mix one part beer, one part birth control, and a whole lot of parties. In a desperate bid to get young people to care about politics, Democratic donors are throwing everything but the kitchen sink at the problem.

First off, let’s talk about the beer. What young’un doesn’t like beer? This strategy is like trying to lure a fish with a shiny lure – except the fish are young voters, and the lure is a keg. Events across swing states are starting to look less like political rallies and more like the world’s most confusing bar crawl.

In Pennsylvania, concerts with free food trucks and beer are the name of the game. Because who wouldn’t want to register to vote after a few pints and a greasy burger?

Abortion festival, contraceptives, manicures, rent checks…

Then there’s the birth control angle. At the “Vote for Abortion festival” (how sick is that?!) in Phoenix, emergency contraceptive pills were handed out like candy. Picture it: a bus driving around the city, distributing feminine hygiene products and contraceptives, all to the beats of a midday concert. This isn’t your grandmother’s political campaign – unless your grandmother is really into EDM and free tampons.

But wait, there’s more! Manicures, boot shines, and rent check sweepstakes are also in the mix.

And if you’re worried about making rent, don’t fret – the Democrats have a raffle for that. These events are all about making voting feel less like a chore and more like a carnival.

Forget about crime, illegal aliens and inflation – just come for the free beer.

The Democrats’ new strategy is all about making politics fun and keeping out the doom and gloom. As Kevin Mack, the lead strategist for the Voter Project, put it, “Turning people out to cultural events is not a hard thing to do.” And why would it be? Give people free beer and a concert, and they’ll show up for just about anything. The trick is getting them to stick around long enough to vote.

And it’s not just about the freebies. There are also plans for early morning raves near early voting spots. That’s right, raves. At 7 a.m.

The Harvard Kennedy School Institute of Politics found a 60% drop since 2015 in the share of Americans between 18 and 29 who trust the president. One-third of college students are reportedly uncomfortable sharing their political views due to fears of censorship or backlash. So the Democrats’ solution? Distract them with shiny things and hope they forget about their distrust and discomfort long enough to cast a vote.