Ah, Mondays…the day that feels like it was invented solely to crush your weekend-fueled joy and smother it with a pillow of responsibility.
But fear not, dear readers, for I come bearing the secrets of Monday survival, the holy grail of coming out on the other side of the Monday slog…the ultimate guide to making Mondays suck less.
So grab your coffee (or your preferred Monday morning elixir) and let’s dive into the abyss together!
The Power of Denial:
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The first step to conquering Monday blues is denial. Pretend it’s still Sunday. Hide your alarm clock, refuse to acknowledge the sun – and wear pajamas to work so that you are more comfortable during your 8-hour jail sesson. Who says you can’t bring a little weekend rebellion into the workweek?
The Snooze Button Ballet:
Ah, the snooze button – a true Monday morning hero. Treat it like a dance partner. Press, twirl back into your sheets, repeat. Just be sure not to miss your cue and end up pirouetting into the office an hour late. Trust me; explanations involving ninja turtles and intergalactic traffic rarely fly with the boss.
The Email Obstacle Course:
Turn your inbox into an Olympic-worthy obstacle course. Dodge spam like a seasoned ninja, leap over passive-aggressive memos, sprint through the labyrinth of reply-all threads and ignore any emails that come from people who identify themselves as she/her, he/his or “they.” Disclaimer: Management may not reward you for this behavior.
Lunchtime Adventures:
Break free from the monotony of sad desk lunches. Embark on a culinary adventure and eat ice cream for lunch. Or cake. Or both. Break the routine of sandwiches and salads and savor something sweet to make Monday a little brighter and leave your co-workers green with envy.
Nap Time Nirvana:
Embrace the siesta spirit and sneak in a power nap during your lunch break. Curl up under your desk with a cozy blanket and drift away to dreamland. Just be sure to set an alarm unless you want to wake up to the janitor vacuuming around you.
Inspirational Office Makeover:
Surround yourself with motivation by redecorating your workspace with inspirational quotes like: “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” says Wayne Gretzky.
Don’t forget that you also miss “100% of the snacks you don’t steal from the communal fridge” says Karen from accounting.
The Great Escape:
When all else fails, employ the ultimate Monday survival tactic – escape! Fake a sudden illness, stage a zombie apocalypse drill, or simply vanish into thin air (with the help of a well- placed cardboard cutout). Remember, discretion is key, and alibis are your best friends.
So there you have it, fellow warriors of the workweek – a foolproof guide to transforming your Mondays from dreaded to delightful.
You can’t all be lucky enough to work from home with your adorable dog and cute golden kitty like me. I am in a workplace where there are still have a few rules but I can basically nap when I want, eat when I want and wear what I want – as long as the blinds are shut and the pets approve.
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