I think we all know that giving people lots of money for pain they never felt is a good idea, right?

Free money always instills the proper life lessons and leads to perpetual happiness. That’s why, without exception, all lottery winners have spent their money wisely and gone on to everlasting bliss.

So when California and federal lawmakers, out of fairness, advocate giving $5,000,000,000…(and on into infinity) to people just because they are black we’ve got to say a hearty hip, hip, huzzah. Just one catch. One minor detail.

Black advocates for the big payout legitimately want redress for their own social and cultural travails. And they have a point. With illegitimacy in the black community at more than 50 percent, rampant crime, economic hardship, and an urban cultural scene that is not exactly the height of mature sophistication, black Americans are deserving of compensation from the people who are responsible for their plight…Democrats.

From slavery, to the Klan, to Jim Crow, to the 1920s resurgence of the Klan, to the fight against civil and voting rights, to the Great Society, to current woke race hustling, Democrats have always been at the forefront of efforts to injure, degrade, and destroy the black family. They have, in the name of corruption and socialism, intentionally quashed opportunities for widespread black economic success, especially in the inner cities. These racist bastards need to pay for what they’ve done to black Americans.

So I modestly propose that any city over one million residents that is run by a Democrat immediately levy a 50 percent per tax on any business enterprise or union not run by a black American. Furthermore, any white donor to any Democrat candidate would be charged a sizable penalty, as they are guilty of aiding and abetting the tragedy of current conditions in many black urban communities.

Why, this isn’t fair, you huff. Why should Democrat run cities suffer for the evils of slavery? Well, let’s see. For a century after slavery and the Civil War, who ran the region where blacks suffered most? The Democrats.

It was called the “Solid South,” such was the hold that nefarious political party had on Dixie. If voters want Democrat leadership at the municipal level it should come with the proper ex post facto consequences. Cities outside the South? Sorry bucko, it’s a poisoned chalice.

For when we saw lynching it was in mostly Democrat states. When the midnight riders of the Klan terrorized innocent blacks, it was with the collusion of local Democrat officials. When civil rights workers were murdered in Mississippi in the 1960s it was in a Democrat town, in a Democrat county, in a Democrat state. The payments should come from those whose hands are covered in the blood of over a century of oppression.

Thus let the punishment fit the crime and make Democrats who committed and continue to commit the aforementioned economic and cultural atrocities now pay the reparations due. It’s only fair.