As a grandfather myself, I wonder about the usefulness of my generation as grandparents. We know how to dress properly, make a superior martini, and elect a great Republican president. The 80s taught us that. True, we also know how to load a bong and shop for whippets. The 70s taught us that.
But even our more questionable talents make us, and many other grandparents, infinitely more suitable for elementary school story hours than drag queens. Maybe by a small margin, but still, yeah. We should launch grandparents story hour on a wide basis. Some school districts already do.
Sure, substituting grandparents for guys who wear outlandish makeup and don women’s clothing may sound strange to some. And those some should have nothing to do with childhood education.
Opposition to replacing drag queens with grandparents would come from the usual suspects in the perv lobby, i.e.- the Democrat Party. But also from those who drank the cultural kool-aid of the 1960s that told us mature age equaled irrelevance and worse. The two, Dems and 60s eternal toddlers, are often the same.
We were instructed in that kidney stone of a decade that youth was somehow better, purer, and more idealistic than corrupt dessicated individuals past, say, 40. But everything the youth movement of the 60s touched turned to excrement. Vietnam, civil rights, feminism, all came a cropper when harsh reality intruded upon their childish fantasies.
To top it off, these post-adolescent infants didn’t vote. As much as they caterwauled for voting rights, when it came time for them to exercise the franchise the majority of them stayed at home. They seemed to epitomize the saying, “Do as I say, not as I do.” When they grew up, had kids themselves, and were paying mortgages, by 1980, they did the sensible thing and voted for Reagan. However, the youth hold on our culture continues, led by the neverending adolescents in academia, media, and Hollywood.
Wisdom used to be passed on generations prior by the presence of grandparents in the house. That ended long ago. These days young parents find their timeless wisdom on Instagram or YouTube. Grandparents and what they can offer in life experience are an afterthought to thirty somethings taught to treat the launch of every new IPhone like a holy event.
But perhaps, before they are corroded by the pop culture, elementary school kids could learn from we fossils. We’d leave out the part about that spring break in Cancun and would happen to ignore our encyclopedic knowledge of the more amusing varieties of hashish.
However, when it comes to life mistakes we can point them away from the directions of failure and regret. We could pass on hard learned lessons of adversity and success. We could instill in them the forgotten virtues of persistence, emotional reticence, and honor. Those are things we found about both in the application and the breach.
But oh no! Heavens will split asunder, as much of this wisdom comes from the passed on experiences of dead white males! Even from those who did not lead absolutely perfect lives. And that’s the real reason most school boards, being comprised of those who would voluntarily serve on school boards, would reject the notion of grandparents story hour. Leftist teachers even more so.
For once some of the virtues of past ages are objectively contrasted with today’s intellectual woke sewer, questions could be asked, a premise or two could be challenged. The public education establishment would not permit it. If it came to pass on a mass basis anyway, their running 60 year agitprop operation could be put at risk. For the sake of classroom race hustlers and America haters, can’t have that. Perish the very thought.