Roaming hither and dither are two adult males who perpetrated a violent act hoping to prove a point about their manhood and commitment to their ladies. But instead, the bash backfired and they look foolish and weak to the entire world. Only one of these men is an aging dictator of a banana republic with nukes.

To protect Jada Pinkett Smith or the Rodina, though one is a tad more loyal than the other, a very dumb guy did a very dumb thing out of frustrated desperation. Though, in Putin’s defense,  you don’t see Russia very publicly spending long debauched weekends with Kyrgyzstan and Mongolia simultaneously while Belarus looks on in sheepish humiliation. Russia is no trollop, Pinkett Smith is. So to win back his own Kyiv, Smith’s outburst was the Putin slap heard around the world. I mean, there are vow of silence monastic hermits shut away in mountain hideaways who are debating the slap or not question.

These two actions are perfect examples of the law of unintended consequences. Putin thought he would have a cakewalk because his cronies probably told him so. At this point they are likely regretting their counsel, no doubt from a cell deep in the Lubyanka. Instead of the Desert Storm rout he wanted Putin got an embarrassing quagmire.

What did Will Smith want? God only knows. His thinking, or lack thereof, defies logical analysis. First off, was the slap real? It sure didn’t look like it. From the initial smiles, to the theatrical swing of his palm, to his weird character in a bad film dialogue, Hancuck made the whole thing looked contrived even if it was real. Perhaps after this long in Hollywood he only knows pretense.

No matter what the reality of the female dog slap, what was Smith’s motivation? Anger of the moment? Has he that little emotional control? Obeying Jada like a whipped chihuahua after he saw her grimace? Assuming it wasn’t contrived, has the former fictitious fighter pilot who saved the world fallen to this level of masculine degradation? Or did he really think his puny girl slap was going to somehow distract or make up for his status as a serial cuckold? If so, like Putin, it didn’t quite work out as planned.

Now people like me, who don’t follow celebrity news, know that Smith lets random guys take his wife to Funkytown whenever the mood strikes them or her. Thus he is less than a man, bereft of the slightest notion of dignity or honor. So sad, because given his public image you really want to like the guy. But today he is only pitied and mocked. Again, unintended consequences. And his target?

Chris Rock has become the entertainment equivalent of Volodymyr Zelenskyy, untouchable in his strength and poise. Smith and Putin are held up as failed losers without a coherent message. Putin issues empty threats from a long table in the Kremlin. Smith blubbers while trying to excuse himself, then dances the night away feted by his fawning colleagues. Both Zelenskyy and Rock watch the scene with wry amusement, as their images soar to stratospheric heights.

So both Smith and Putin fall to the ring of hell designed for entitled wusses who can’t plan their way out of a paper bag. Both weak sisters will lose global reputation, however only one may face a war crimes trial after his entourage turns on him. Smith can be thankful for that tender mercy.