By now you’ve all heard Joe Biden’s press conference admission that he’s told who to choose for questions. And watching his recent public performances, do you think he has the presence of mind to handle the presidency? Thus, if it’s not him, who is the de facto president of the United States?

There are several candidates for the position. All have access and motivation. All have likely known Biden’s mental condition since last year and thus were ready for this eventuality. The top suspects?

1) Obama through Valerie Jarrett. Jarrett has a White House office and is no doubt in daily contact with Chicago. It would fit the Obama political agenda, not to mention his hatred of America, if Biden were to fail and be ousted from office. That could clear the way for the easily controlled Harris and the eventual ascension of Michelle Obama.

2) Jill Biden. It’s a Woodrow Wilson scenario in this case. White House staffers in collusion with Jill Biden tell Joe what to do and when to do it. He follows along timidly. If you prefer a pop culture way of looking at it, recall the “Lord of the Rings” relationship between King Theoden and Grima Wormtongue. The problem here is that there is no Gandalf to awaken the king from his torpor.

3) Democrats in Congress. Possible but unlikely, as White House players would not give up that much power. But the leadership vacuum does give Pelosi and Schumer carte blanche to run amok and decide White House priorities on the timing and substance of legislation.

4) The veep. Very unlikely, as all know she’s not up to it, hence her absence during the Biden Bugout. But proximity counts for a lot in Washington and she is close. She also must know by this point she will inherit most current issues and so may want a voice in high administration councils. But the DC word on the street is that she is not ready for prime time and thus the grownups are probably keeping her away from the sharp objects.

5) The fantasy players of conspiracy theorists. As disappointing as this may be to some on the right, a cabal of New World Order enthusiasts, George Soros, the Illuminati, the Rothschild family, Satan, Emperor Draxos of Neptune, and the Peoria Chamber of Commerce are not running the show in the West Wing. If so, they would probably be more competent, in the eve-ill sense, than Joe Biden.

6) Me. Okay, you got me. It’s a fair cop, but society is to blame. I mean, given my peripatetic social life some international details have gotten away from me lately, not to mention the border and other matters. As soon as the fall diplomatic reception season is over, I’ll do better. Promise.