There are those Trump supporters who, like Japanese soldiers hidden on South Pacific atolls in 1965, won’t admit this war is over and the other war is about to begin. But deal with it kids. It’s time to go into French Resistance mode. Vive la France!

As such, it may be good to know what the enemy is planning. So, from their public statements, source info, and complete speculation, here are the likely first events of the Biden administration on the afternoon and evening of January 20, 2021.

Noon- Biden takes the oath. Morning has not gone smoothly, as Trump and Biden supporters clash on the streets of DC. Trump supporters vow to take to the streets against Biden as the Left did against Trump for four years. Today shows they aren’t kidding. The outgoing president boycotted the inauguration. Official DC frowns at that. Inaugural parade is a manureshow, as gimmicks proliferate from Biden and Trump fans line the route and express their extreme displeasure in novel ways.

2pm- Primed and ready to go awaiting signature, Biden signs more than several executive orders reversing Trump executive orders on a number of fronts including environment, finance, national security, and immigration/border security. Phone calls have gone out to foreign leaders telling them the US will join Paris Accords, Iran Nuclear Treaty, and Kyoto Protocol. US armed forces have been told to stand down across the world in order to facilitate friendly relations with new friends Iran and China. Israel, Jordan, Bahrain, UAE, and the Saudis sign a mutual defense pact.

4pm- More scuffles on the streets of DC, as Democrats have their festivities ruined by carousing Republicans. One incident has Democrats particularly incensed. An unnamed Contributing Editor of a conservative journal of opinion, and willing cohorts, have occupied the Democratic National Committee, barricaded themselves in, and have refused to leave until they are brought, “Bourbon, beef, and Kamala Harris. Not in that order.”

6pm- The new Attorney General has announced sweeping new regulations on “virus speech” that classifies government criticism as a public health threat punishable by fine and/or jail. House Speaker Democrat Abigail Spanberger of Virginia immediately speaks out against the measure and is detained “for her own protection” at an undisclosed location.

8pm- Inaugural balls are interrupted by Republican agitators dressed as wait staff, who dump laxatives and hallucinogenics into ball punch bowls and champagne fountains. Bernie Sanders is found wandering naked on Pennsylvania Avenue, asking to be taken to the talking lizards that run the Soviet embassy.

10pm- Former President Donald Trump is at home in Florida, watching the day with close associates. He is smiling. Former First Lady Melania Trump is occupied with picking the new curtains for the Oval Office, for January 2025.